Shine

I hate evenings as all the thoughts of the day pile up and i am thrown in one of the two extrema, pozitive or negative emotions. Either way, i am drained of power as i let it all get to me - it is the only way i know. Mornings i love, as all is nice and clear: with reason it's said that the night is a good adviser, meaning that you should sleep on it and if something still sounds good in the morning, you should do it.
Yesterday i spent most of the day in the company of oher people. Ok, to be more exact, in the company of people and insects from the order Diptera (meaning flies and mosquitos). But as i was returning to my room, exhausted and with a red white of the eye and blurred vision as my pupil did not react to light as it should have, i realized that i was very energetic inside even if my body was fighting the fatigue.
Being around people filled me with positive energy, it is like i had been connected to a power source and thus got my batteries charged. Of course, in order to have this effect, you have to choose the right people. In this sense, a friend of mine is right when saying that you cannot have a special relationship with everyone, because if you did, it wouldn't be special anymore. You cannot please everyone, so there are trade-offs - choices. One cannot choose its family, but you do choose your friends. Show me who your friends are and i will tell you who you are.
Most of the times, we are so tempted to try and please the world that we do not notice that in the process we forget about ourselves. It is a dangerous process that leads to the inevitable outcome of excess altruism, where one plays the role of Mother Teresa, never asking for anything, always giving and always happy with the little she gets back. Wake up, you must not ACCEPT things that come your way, ACCEPT the things that others give you. You must fight for BETTER, for MORE. Because you deserve it. But, moving from the point of initial endowment to a point where you are better off, you must inevitably make someone else worse off, thus in life you have to move away from the Pareto Efficient point. (so micro can be applied in real life :P)
It is nice to be one of those persons who is an energy giver, but you must be careful not to give it all and remain drained. There are people that do just that to me (yes, i like to think that i am a person of positive aura) and i know it is not their fault, as all this energy thing is not tangible and it is involuntary, on some level. As strange as it seems, i have found a way to preserve my livelyhood around the persons mentioned above so i no longer avoid their presence. I think it is a tacit agreement as who will play what role in the relationship, as in all bonds there is a person who gives more and the person who likes to receive. I have always been a giver, and as it is said, i hope that at least a 5th part will return to me, as a 5th part is more than enough.