Thought #1.It is raining. No surprise.
Thought #2.
I am thinking about how i could have handled the situation better. And guess what, there are not so many things i can blame myself for. Just a few.... i did have a painful reaction to all that has happened, but i kinda think i had a right to react that way.Now i am oscillating. I am tempted to do " the right thing", but i am not sure that in the meantime i will be able to maintain my calm and self control. As it is said, after war, all are heroes. Avoid the war for as long as possible? Yep. As it is said, leave what you have to do today for tomorrow, and who knows, maybe you won't have to do it at all. This is exactly the case, but the problem is that the events are unfolding in an unwanted direction. And if i do not intervene, they will keep doing just that. What to do? Well, i guess i will just wait a little longer.....
Thought #3.
The phrase " it's not you, it is me" is a concept that screams " i do not want to tell you directly that i do not want anything with you. " You use it when you are too chicken to tell a person in the face that you are done with him / her. But you hide behind the idea that you are trying to spare the other person's feelings. Yeah, right. But in this case... It really is me. And i really do want to keep things going. I just want to set my own rhythm. Is that too much to ask?
Thought #4.
Is love enough? No. And once again, it has been proven. Compatibility? Understanding? Likeness? Compromise?
Thought #5.
I can finally say that i am no longer confused. Things have been clear for quite a while now, but i still felt safer under the "confused" concept. Confused means "undecided". Confused means there is no need for immediate action. Yes, i do stall things and i suffer of acute laziness. So sue me.
I know what is wrong and why, i know what i do not want and i am trying to figure out a diplomatic / safe way of avoiding it. The only issue is with the things i do want. Half of them are put on hold, under the label " never gonna happen, get over it, grow up". The other half is being worked on. Slowly, but surely.
Thought #6.
It is raining. I am actually kinda enjoying it.
4 comments:
cit de adevarate lucruri zici..
anyways, nu te prea deprinde cu ploaia, ca vine numaidecit si soarele. ;)
am zis io ca nu ma mai jelui in public, da vad ca nu ma pot abtsine :))))
no compromise.. no compromise .. at all. it's like giving a part of you away .. and you must keep yourself together
if you do not give you do not get. deshi este si o limita,de aia am incetat sa dau.
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