Things i will never tell u

Did we put so much value on our time together because it was scarce? Do we look back with so much pleasure because it lasted so little? What if i wouldn't have had to go? What if u had stayed? What if the circumstances would have let us have a decent goodbye? Or has there never been one because things are still to come? ... You say you will wait for me. But this distance makes me forget your face little by little... You say you are the same, same smile, same eyes, same warmth... I remember everything, but each day it is farther away... I cannot help but ask questions the answer to which i will never find... What had happened between us? I sometimes think that you were more frightened of it all than i was... But you wanted me to feel safe, to feel protected, to feel loved... You never realized that you didn't actually have to do anything, it was all you that made me feel things i cannot explain up till now. You have brought up something i never thought i had in me. Whoever says perfection does not exist, is wrong. It exists. And i am glad we found it together, after we had been looking for it for a long time in all the wrong places. It wasn't something we had planned, it was so spontaneous and happened so fast neither of us had any time to think it through, so maybe that is what made it all so special. I do not know why. Do not ask me that. I do not know how. It just was... I just know that it was the best irrational choice of my life.
You say you will be there... But you are too far. I am too far. I cannot say what tomorrow will bring. Neither can you, so no matter how many promises we want to make, let us just smile at what was and hope it will be again... but no promises.