Lately i have been meaning to make some changes in my life, but i do not seem to get around to any of them. I have excuses, lots of them, similar with the ones i invoke whenever people ask me why i stopped exhibiting the will power i was so proud of, when they ask me why i no longer achieve the things that used to be just one step away( or at least they seemed that way), why i no longer blog, why i changed... The last reproach is one addressed by myself, as i am not sure that the change has been so obvious to others. But I miss myself. A lot.
On the other hand, i do like the new me, even if i am not sure exactly how NEW it is. Maybe it has always been ME, maybe i learnt from past experiences, or maybe i did get influenced by the people around me. Still, with no doubt, there are many things i would have said "no" to before that i now accept, and... strangely enough, i cannot think of an opposite example in order to finish this thought artistically. No, i do not think there are things that i would have accepted last year that i now refuse. Have i become more open minded? Less conservative? More optimistic? Adventurous? Irresponsible?
There are things that i am now doing that i wasn't doing till now, and there are things that i wish i had continued doing. This is all abstract and may make no sense to the outside reader, but these lines were written more as an attempt to reach my old self, my past self, my ME self...
There are two things that i miss most about that self. One is blogging. Yes. Blogging.