Adevar sau provocare? Instinct sau Ego?

Zi de zi, ora de ora, in orice minut si chiar secunda, in lume se intimpla atitea lucruri. Si de cele mai multe ori, aceste evenimente sunt mai interesante decit ceea ce tsi se intimpla tsie in aceeashi secunda.
In acest moment, de exemplu, in camera de alaturi sta Giuseppe, cu un muschi la spate intins si cu intrebari primordiale despre instinctul natural al barbatului de a domina si cel al femeilor de a fi posedate. M-a invitat si pe mine in dezbateri si da, pina la urma, el a auzit ceea ce a vrut sa auda, chiar daca eu am concretizat ca in aceasta lume totul este relativ si ca viatsa totusi nu este o formula matematica chiar daca in momente de influientse exterioare negative am afirmat ca da, viatsa este un shir de variabile ordonate dupa un algoritm bine pus la punct. Ajunsesem sa zik chiar ca si dragostea este o ecuatsie si deci poate fi demonstrata prin tehnici matematice simple - ma bucur insa ca aceste pareri ale mele au fost imediat respinse si trimise catre regindire :) Totusi, problema expusa de Gius m-a facut sa imi expim a n-a oara parerea ca da, instinctul natural al femeii este de a se lasa dominata. Ca da, iubim acea putere de care dau dovada barbatsii, acel curaj cu care trec prin viatsa, acea hotarire cu care merg inainte, acea claritate cu care rezolva problemele si acea fortsa cuc are ne ocrotesc pe noi, femeile, firi sensibile si emotive. Desigur, un barbat trebuie sa fie si sensibil, intelegator si iubitor, la fel cum o femeie nu poate fi doar alintata in ochii unui barbat chiar daca de multe ori le hranim egoul prin a-i lasa sa ne mingiie sufletselele. Nu, o femeie trebuie sa fie si ea puternica, desteapta, hotarita si provocatoare. Deci da, chiar daca instinctul este de a te lasa sub dominatsia unui barbat, lumea evouleaza astfel incit rolurile nu mai sunt atit de bine definite. O femeie poate purta pantalonii in casa la fel de bine ca si un barbat. Vrea ea insa sa fie stapin in casa? Sau vrea ca barbatul sa loveasca cu pumnul in masa si sa mentsina ordinea? Depinde. Totusi mijlocul e de aur. Cred ca societatea a evoluat destul incit sa nu mai fie aplicabile modelele prestabilite. Cred ca fiecare relatsie, fiecare om si fiecare casa isi are specificul sau. Cum se spune in batrini, fiecare bordei cu al sau obicei.
GIuseppe insa nu a vrut sa se adinceasca in probleme sociale, de egalitate, democratsie sau psihologie. Mai mult il interesa aspectul cel mai de baza, fenomenul de dominant si dominat. Si da, am zis eu. Majoritatea femeilor prefera sa fie dominate in pat.

Dimineatsa unui moldovean in italia

De obicei, dimineatsa acestei moldovence in parte incepe cu Bucuria unei satisfaceri a necesitatsii de glucoza - adica cu bomboane. De citeva zile incoace insa, prezentsa unei cutiutse de lapte condensat in frigider ma face sa imi incalc ideile foarte bine intemeiate in legatura cu efectele negative ale cafelei si deci sorbesc cu nesats din lichidul desteptator in fiecare dimineatsa. Desigur, pe urma ma mir de ce dantura devine tot mai aproape de culoarea cafelei, insa pina la urma, oglinda ma vede doar de vreo 3 ori pe zi, asa ca nu prea intru in panica cind discut cu ea.
Afara nu era soare, insa cine se mai uita la soare cind traieste in Milan :) Desi clima din tsarile britanice are caracteristici cu mult mai imbucuratoare si deci cantitatea de vitamina D primita de organism prin razele solare este minima, totusi eu nu sunt de acord cu fitsele vremii de afara si deci ii tot fac in ciuda si imi planific ziua necatind la mofturile anotimpului. Astfel, inarmata cu energie artificiala, am iesit din camin dindu-i frumos din cap portarului ce isi itseste capul pe fereastra, am trecut strada prin acelasi loc interzis pietonilor si am luat-o cu pas rapid spre Universitate. In geanta minune incapuse calculatorul meu iubit ce ishi indeplineste foarte fidel functsiile insa care nu ma mai satisface din motive ca stiu ca pot avea deja ceva mai bun - fiind insa o fire fidela, voi fi a Toshiba-ului meu pina cind ishi va da duhul si Ram-ul....
Si uite asa, vesela voioasa cu vreo 4 kg pe umar, am zimbit baiatului ce instaleaza soft-ul pentru examenul de statistica ce este mascat cu o alta denumire si am coborit cu viteza la cantina. Daca tot sunt in Italia, am decis sa mai gust din Brioche-le lor, sa fac si eu colazione asa cum se cuvine, doar ca fara cafea - nu recunosc calitatsile unei cafele daca nu contsine acea linguritsa de lapte condensat cumparat de mamica mea.
Si uite asa, fara a-mi da seama, m-am trezit in metro, unde privind zimbetul unui batrin ce i-a luminat fatsa - atunci am zimbit si eu si mi-am zis ca da, viatsa e frumoasa in micile ei aspecte....

( To be continued)

To err is human. To act upon emotion is irrational, but understandable. To hurt the people that are vulnerable towards you is unintentional. To close every door there is just out of fear that bad things might come in keeps the good things out aswell. To let go does not necessarily mean you are giving up, sometimes it's just that some things cannot be. To be simple means taking life as it is. To love is easy. To let yourself be loved is sometimes hard. To run is shameful, but safe. To stay static is easy, but dangerous. To wait is hard, but it sometimes pays off. To look ahead is great, but one must also look back in order to make sure not to invent the bicycle all over again. To look at the moon means to see just one side of it, when in reality there are two. To start means that you are half way there. You must not ask if something can be done... the right question is whether it is worth doing.

For now, i will settle with finding a logic in all the mess from my desk and shelves. Then i will move on. Hopefully.

Haos

E luni seara si e 18:45. Lucrurile imi stau toate care si pe unde - as vrea sa zic ca e un haos ordonat, insa nu e asa, doar ca m-am obisnuit cu el. Plus ca am memorie buna asa ca am retsinut deja unde sunt anumite lucruri chiar daca deja de citeva saptamini bune plinge locul lor dupa ele. Masa imi e comoda - chiar daca are in lungime mai mult de 1.72 (unealta de masurare a fost persoana mea), biroul nu pare gol. Pentru ca nu este. In coltsul stinga se afla diverse obiecte de uz casic pe care nu le-am mai atins de citeva saptamini - da, ma intreb si eu citeodata de ce stau la mine pe birou si nu undeva in vreun sertar, mai departe de ochii lumii. Tot acolo insa stau si acei 3 trandafiri care imi arata prin prospetsimea lor ca totusi nu a trecut un secol azi, desi asa ar parea. Orarul lectsiilor sta si el uitat pe margine, la el insa mai trag cu ochii din cind in cind - cine stie, poate incomoditatea ma va face sa il agats de vre-un perete, astfel mai skimb si eu macar ceva din camera mea. Cana cu ceai, biscuitsii si napolitanele sunt la locul lor - trebuie doar sa intind mina si sa ma indulcesc. E drept ca si covorasul pentru abdomene nu e departe, cine insa se mai gindeste la kilograme in plus cind dragul meu calculator sta atit de imbietor pe masa?
Nici nu mai tsin minte cind a sunat ultima data telefonul fix. Oare mai functioneaza? Totusi sta la indemina, pentru orice eventualitate. Sticla cu apa? Desigur, prezenta - apa e lichidul vietsii. Mai ales ca recent am achizitionat un filtru de mai mare frumusetsea, care desi e util, taraganeaza foarte mult procesul de fierbere a ceaiului, astfel incit uit ca voiam in genere sa beau ceva. Astfel economisesc Lipton-ul cumparat cu mare grija de tata de la Piatsa Centrala.
Alaturi de sticla cu apa se afla desigur vitaminele pe care in 2009 le-am atins doar ca sa sterg praful de sub ele, insa ce e mai straniu e ca de citva timp incoace demachiantul tot e la indemina. Da, machiajul e pe politsa nr 2 ( nu ca daca ar fi mai aproape l-ash folosi, dar totusi) iar demachiantul e aici. Hm, ok, uite si servetele. Si biletsele pe care scriu task-uri ce intr-un final ramin doar scrise. Si sutele de pixuri cu care nu scriu. Si cabluri de la diverse jucarii electronice. Si foi. Multe multe foi. Asa cum ii sta bine unui student.
Pina miine imi organizez biroul si revin cu un reportaj despre politsa nr 1. :))) Si poate pun si vreo carte pe masa, asa ar fi frumos.......

Signs

"I believe that all is pure belief...."

Should we believe in signs? Or do we see what we want to see? Should we believe in coincidences? Or are some things "meant to be" ?
Yes, i do believe in love, even if for some time now i have been stating that i do not think it exists. I believe in love because i have seen it, because i have felt it, because i was happy in it and because i suffered from it. Still i wonder why we fall in love with one person rather than another. This subject is a matter of discussion in more than one TED.com talk, and the answers provided by the persons that have dedicated their life to the study of love and romance are different, yet they have one thing in common. LOVE EXISTS, fact that can be scientifically proven as a certain area of the brain is activated when one nourishes romantic feelings towards another person. Still, why we choose to love one person instead of another remained a mystery. The only fact is that once that choice is made, there is hardly ever a turning back... till a new love comes along. One love can cure another. Yes, how true.
In a previous post i kinda asked a very ticklish question about how we choose our partners. And yes, i do believe that we choose them, because at one point or another, we choose to love a person, we choose to accept his/her minuses and we choose to focus on the pluses. So we do choose. How? That is probably another Ted.com talk that is to come - if no one comes up with an idea, who knows, i myself might get up there on that stage in the medium run future :))))
Still, the choosing idea has one drawback - how can we choose who to love and still accept the fact that one cannot command the heart? Well, i said it would be medium run future, i do not have the answer to that right now :)
In most cases, the "signs" are the ones that guide us in one or another direction. Signs that make you decide good or bad. SIGNS. For example a black cat crossing your path may make you turn around and spit 3 times in order to break up the bad luck, but then you miss the bus that makes you miss the train and you in the end arrive late for work and so you conclude that the black cat really was bad luck for you. But the fact that you stopped and hesitated instead of going faster in order to get to the bus station, and the fact that you already had the predetermined idea that things were going to go bad that day - aren't those actually the variables that cause the bad luck through the day? So i return to the same idea that everything is psychological, and superstitions and signs are stupid. The majority of them, at least. Coz many superstitions do have logical explanations, as i see it. For example, " do not walk under a ladder" - smth may fall on your head, " do not sow clothes you are dressed with, take them off first" - yes, you might get hurt with the needle and you most probably will do a very bad job sowing the rupture; " do not wash your head before an exam" = hot water causes loss of long term memory ; etc. All of these sayings do have explanations, except the one with the cat and the number 13. Those are then 2 things i need help with. Anybody?
And what about signs? Are they real, or do we understand what we actually want to see? Is it all psychological? If i want to believe that tomorrow will be sunny, i see all the signs that are in favor of sunny weather. Of course, i do not look at the weather report, i have the signs that i believe in. If it is not sunny, i then say that i have misunderstood the signs. If it is sunny, i am happy that the signs were correct and i am sure to turn to their advice once again. Of course, "sunny" is a metaphore. "Sunny" is the uncertain event that we are trying to predict, the outcome that we are so impatient to know, the dream that we need to have, the certainty that we seek. Yes, people need to be in control. And who knows - this idea just came to me now - the fact that we look for signs everywhere is a kind of proof of the fact that we as humans need to know everything. And if we cannot know something, we convince ourselves that we do actually know it because "the signs" are all there. But are there such things as signs? Or is it just pure mere selection? DO WE SEE WHAT WE WANT TO SEE? Do we choose what to believe? I think yes. And yes, most of the times, that is why wishing hard for something makes it happen. Because you are so sure it will happen that you concentrate all your energy in that direction and what do you know, the signs were right. Of course they were. Because it's not the event that determines the signs that we see. It's the signs that determine the event.
But then, what about intuition? What about the things we cannot control? What about coincidences? I cannot help but wonder.....

Risk

Sometimes you smile. Sometimes you cry. Sometimes you just do the things you need to do. Sometimes you just need to stop thinking. And i think he who can achieve that is very blessed. To be able not to think when you choose not to, and to think when you have to - it is simply a bliss.

I still tend to think that everything that happens is to the best. I still want to think that there is a good reason for unhappiness, that there is an explanation for pain and that the waiting does lead one towards a certain positive result. Of course, one must not stand arms crossed, but still, i believe that in the end, good things do come to those who have patience and who trust in the future.

Sometimes it is too late. Sometimes there is nothing more you can do. But one can state that only when all the tools in possession have been used, when everything possible has been done. So, i wonder if what i am saying is that i should take a risk. Any risk. Would it make me feel better? Me, the most risk averse person there is? Me, the person who does not cheat, does not steal, does not lie ( except ocassionally, but it is understandable, i am not perfect) not so much because it is immoral, but because i fear getting caught? Should i risk anything? Or should i opt for the convenient, for the safe, for the warm and for the nice?


Theoretically, people will say that life without risks is an empty existence, that he who does not risk does not win, etc. But practically, how many persons actually take their own advice?

Answer

The answer to my question ( if what you want is not available at the moment, what do you do?) is that you wait or fight harder. Do not settle for what is available if you know that you want and need more.

Jucarii

" Papushele, mashinele, ursuletsi de plush. Calculatoare, PDA, aparate foto, telefoane mobile sofisticate. Parteneri."

How do we choose a phone, a laptop, a digital camera? You probably know from the start what you are looking for. Because even if you've never had one before, you've most certainly had some similar devices that make you sure about some features that the new toy must have. Or if not, you have observed their characteristix in the hands of others, and now you want one for yourself. And you know what you want. You know what you need. But... But now there is choice. We don't only have Polaroid no more. We have variety now.

So, how do we choose?
Reputation? The past is a good approximation of the future. Knowing how the device has performed in the past, knowing the degree of satisfaction of its users, one can more or less estimate the degree to which that specific brand will cover ones needs.
Then you go on to characteristix. Quality. Megapixels. LCD. Battery. Guarantee. Webcam. You read reviews. You check out the price. Effort / effect ratio. You compare and in the end decide.
Is there ONE item designed especially for you? No. But there are about a dozen that fit your needs if not completely, at least mostly. In the end, you choose. Are you sure you have chosen the best there is? Not always. Most of the times you just do not have any more time to allocate to this matter. Most of the time, convenience makes up for small malfunctions. An item on your desk is better than one in the store. Because it is there, it is yours for you to do with it whatever you please.
Are our partners like our toys? Is there only ONE that is able to make your life complete, or are there about a dozen that satisfy more or less your needs?
What if there is no description? What if there is no product review? What if there is no guarantee? What if the item is unavailable, sold out, not it storage? Do you keep dreaming of it? Do you look for it in other places? What if you do not find it? Do you wait? What if you cannot wait? Do you get something else instead?
Are our partners our toys? Toys we love, toys we cherish, toys we hug and are ourselves with, toys we sleep with?

Prostie omeneasca

ION CREANGĂ
Prostia omenească (varianta completa aici)

A fost odată, când a fost, că, dacă n-ar fi fost, nu s-ar povesti.

Noi nu suntem de pe când poveştile, ci suntem mai dincoace cu vro două-trei zile, de pe când se potcovea purecele cu nouăzeci şi nouă de ocă de fer la un picior şi tot i se părea că-i uşor.

Cică era odată un om însurat, şi omul acela trăia la un loc cu soacră-sa. Nevasta lui, care avea copil de ţâţă, era cam proastă; dar şi soacră-sa nu era tocmai hâtră.

Întru una din zile, omul nostru iese de-acasă după trebi, ca fiecare om. Nevasta lui, după ce-şi scăldă copilul, îl înfăşă şi-i dete ţâţă, îl puse în albie lângă sobă, căci era iarnă; apoi îl legănă şi-l dezmerdă, până ce-l adormi. După ce-l adormi, stătu ea puţin pe gânduri ş-apoi începu a se boci cât îi lua gura: "Aulio! copilaşul meu, copilaşul meu!"

Mama ei, care torcea după horn, cuprinsă de spaimă, zvârli fusul din mână şi furca din brâu cât colo şi, sărind fără sine, o întrebă cu spaimă:

- Ce ai, draga mamei, ce-ţi este?!
- Mamă, mamă! Copilul meu are să moară!
- Când şi cum?
- Iată cum. Vezi drobul cel de sare pe horn?
- Îl văd. Şi?
- De s-a sui mâţa, are să-l trântească drept în capul copilului şi să mi-l omoare!
— Vai de mine şi de mine, că bine zici, fata mea; se vede că i s-au sfârşit mititelului zilele!

Şi, cu ochii pironiţi în drobul de sare de pe horn şi cu mânile încleştate, de parcă le legase cineva, începură a-l boci amândouă, ca nişte smintite, de clocotea casa. Pe când se sluţeau ele, cum vă spun, numai iaca şi tatăl copilului intră pe uşă, flămând şi năcăjit ca vai de el.

— Ce este ? Ce v-au găsit, nebunelor?

Atunci ele, viindu-şi puţin în sine, începură a-şi şterge lacrămile şi a-i povesti cu mare jale despre întâmplarea neîntâmplată.

...

Ion Creanga mereu încăleca pe-o şa, şi spunea povestea aşa. Mereu încăleca pe-o roată, şi o spunea toată. Apoi încăleca pe-o căpşună, şi recunostea ca spunea o mare minciună!! O mare minciuna adevarata.

De cite ori ni s-a intimplat si noua sa ne intristam din cauza unei intimplari neintimplate? Unica diferentsa este ca acum zicem ca suntem pesimisti sau realisti cind privim in viitor si in loc sa mutam din loc copilul sau drobul de sare ( am auzit chiar si varianta de mâţ-ucidere)firea omeneasca se tinguieste si isi maninca zilele din cauza unor evenimente incerte din viitor.
De citeva zile incoace aud aceasta poveste de la persoane diferite. Sa imi fac oare griji, sa imi fac niste concluzii?


O varianta moderna a prostiei omenesti aici.