Over-active immagination

The darkness, silence, emptiness and coolness of 10 o'clock Milan has made me go through the useless but necessary process of finding issues where there aren't any. Tonight i was thinking about the same issue i have played with for so long - my ability to let go. I realized that one of the things that has made me lose out on stuff is that i cannot stop - i cannot stop and say that i am done. And of course, all American style, i have to dig down deep and find out why, so i know what is the real reason for feeling this way. And yes,it comes from the fact that i have willingly or unwillingly always had the motto that " there is always room for better". So of course i am never satisfied. Of course it is never enough. Of course i cannot say that this is it, that i need to give up. It is the same thing with this book i am reading - its language is incomprehensible, and it takes me half an hour to read 2 pages. Yet i go on. Because i cannot give up. It is the one thing i can never forgive myself. That is why most of the times, i go overboard. I over invest. Because i cannot help but think what if i let go when i am inches away from the desired outcome?
I need to realize the fact that it is not always giving up. It is letting go.


In a totally different order of ideas, I have had the weirdest dream last night, it had airplanes, bombs and a dam breaking in it. I felt i was in the water but i could not see it, i had just escaped a bomb that had aimed exactly for me and i spent my time with a person i do not even like. But in my dream we bonded, so maybe i should give it another chance.

To see an airplane in your dream, indicates that you will overcome your obstacles and rise above to a new level of prominence and status. You may experience a higher consciousness, new-found freedom and greater awareness.

Yeah,well, in my dream, there were 3 airplanes(!) over Washington(!!) and they crashed(!!!) Sound familiar?

To see a bomb in your dream, signifies that you may be going through a potentially explosive and trying situation in your waking life. The bomb could represent repressed desires and unexpressed emotions that are likely to explode or burst if not dealt with soon. It could be something within yourself, such as the desire to explode with anger over an issue that's affecting you.

Well, one of these repressed desires almost hit me in the head. But i managed to escape it and rise above through the invisible water... uhh, i mean with serenity and calmness.

Water symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind.
If the water is calm, clear, then it signifies that you are in tune with your spirituality. It denotes serenity, peace of mind, and rejuvenation.
To see muddy or dirty water in your dream, indicates that you are wallowing in your negative emotions. You may need to devote some time to clarify your mind and find internal peace.

The thing is, i did not see the water. I just knew it was there. I did not feel wet, i did not feel cold, i did not feel the current. I just knew i was in the water. Weird, right, how can i not see my own subconscious? Now i do not know whether it was dark or light. How on earth can i go on?

The weirdest thing is that this was a continuation to a dream i had had some nights before. Gr-reat. I have started to dream in episodes.