A beautiful mind

I have watched this movie when everyone was fussing about it and discussing the plot line and the memorable moments, like for example the pens scene. And since January, the downloaded file has been patiently waiting for the moment when i would be in the mood for some thinking instead of the usual "i wanna make time pass" movies that i find myself watching lately. I know that is one of the most horrible ways to relax, but it has so far worked for me. So finally, today, i decided to take some snacks out of the fridge, hug Hugo Bob, bring the laptop closer to the bed and finally watch the movie and remember why people kept saying it is such a great movie. Now i know why. Because it is.
I remembered the moment with the pens i mentioned before perfectly. And the scene with the Prize. And the speech. But yes, i shed a tear. Because it is so simple and beautiful, because it is so full of meaning, because it is about miracles and faith, the two things that i need right now.
Also, the quotes from the movie are simply brilliant....

Alicia: How big is the universe?
Nash: Infinite.
Alicia: How do you know?
Nash: I know because all the data indicates it's infinite.
Alicia: But it hasn't been proven yet.
Nash: No.
Alicia: You haven't seen it.
Nash: No.
Alicia: How do you know for sure?
Nash I don't, I just believe it.
Alicia: It's the same with love I guess.

I have been asking myself for quite a while now, how important is it to believe? If we want something so bad that we can almost touch it, will it come true if we really believe that it is possible? Or will we fall into the deepest pit of disappointment if it doesn't happen?
Most of the times, if you really believe in something, especially in miracles - they happen. Yet my attention has always been distracted by the pit of disappointment i mentioned, so i cannot have that much faith in anything. I would like to say that i am skeptical, but no, it is pure pathetic fear.

"I still see things that are not here. I just choose not to acknowledge them. Like a diet of the mind, I just choose not to indulge certain appetites; like my appetite for patterns; perhaps my appetite to imagine and to dream."

"I think that's what it's like with all our dreams and our nightmares, Martin, we've got to keep feeding them for them to stay alive. "


Nope, no more food for them.
There is a saying, " i can resist anything but temptation"... At the moment i am not sure if what i am is called responsible or coward. If i had had the guts to do all that i have wanted to do up till now, i would not be here. I do not know whether that " somewhere else" is a better place, but i guess i will never know that now, huh? So i call them dreams and i let them stay that way, trying to keep them as pure and as innocent as i can. But they will never be anything more. Just dreams. Dreams that i sometimes do not even acknowledge are there.

"It's called "life," John. Activities available; just add meaning."

Simple recipe, yet so many fail to follow it. Funny, isn't it?

"Find a truly original idea. It is the only way I will ever distinguish myself. It is the only way I will ever matter. "

Some people never find that original idea, that something that makes them stick out of the crowd. Yet i think it is worth the search.