What drives me

Once again, a link provided by my dear friend has made me raise an eyebrow and wonder why so many articles seem to match my experience and my day to day existential questions,which, of course, remain only that, questions. This time i started thinking about motivation and what makes us get up in the morning despite the cold from everywhere except under the blanket, in the shower and Miami, despite the thick and depressing rain outside, and despite the gray silent fog that makes one want to wear black as to be in the same color range with the weather.
The article from www.thedumblittleman.com presents the concept of misguided motivation and how pursuing a goal and having the right motivation for achieving it can guarantee you a better result in less time. It is in my opinion exactly what has been going wrong with my life up till now. I know that i have just made a very powerful statement, but these days i have been even less than my usual irrational self - which i by the way did not think was possible, so i am oscillating between extremes of tranquility and serenity, and depression and violence on the other side. I actually snapped yesterday and hopefully i will be forgiven, the only good thing that came out of me yelling at everyone was the fact that i got it out of my system and was my charming self for the rest of the evening. I would break dishes whenever i am stressed, frustrated and i feel like i am going to blow, but i cannot afford that as i am already down to 2 cups and so i have to serve tea and coffee to my guests in bowls. I may be careless, clumsy and a disaster in the kitchen, but at least nobody can blame me for not being creative.
As i have unintentionally drifted away from today's post theme, i will return to it by saying that i have discovered that yes, i have been very well motivated in the past, but the major decisions in my life have been made after a completely wrong pro / con list. In the end it did not matter that much as the motivation ( which was wrong ) was strong enough to make me succeed, so in the end, there was a positive result. Difficulty came when i no longer felt motivated by the no-name mystery factor mentioned above. That is why i suddenly found myself lost in time and space, as my messenger status so often reads, and i realized that i had never needed any other kind of motivation in the past, so looking for it now has turned out to be particularly cumbersome. It took me quite a while and a few friendships were lost along the way, but in my opinion, it is true what they say, if u let somwthing go and it does not come back to you, then it was never yours in the first place.
Now i know what i can do and why i am doing it, i do not need to look for "the motivation", let us call it that, although i kinda miss those days.... I sometimes think that friends are there to motivate you into being more than you think you are capable of being... and so you do your best in order not to disappoint them. We all have our ups and downs, and sometimes, a few warm words from a friend, or maybe just his presence can make you get back up and carry on going. Friends are the ones that come in when everyone else is going out, a friend is a person who knows all about you and still loves you. A friend is someone who does not judge you, who does not put much thought into the reasons why he / she must help but still does. A friend is someone who offers help when you do not ask. Someone who talks when you need to listen. Someone who gives you a hug when you look like you do not need it. Someone who comes to you even if you do not seem to need him.
Hm, it looks like i need " the motivation " after all....