I need a miracle

I have finally started to do something uselful with these last days of holiday before all the italians start to populate the dorm as they normally do. I have already gotten used to the quiet and to the liberty of talking, shouting, listening to high volume music ( i have no speakers, so how loud can that be, but still, the idea remains ) without having anyone stick their head out of their cozy un-decorated rooms to ask me how i am and what have i been doing lately, only to afterwards smile smugly at me and tell me that he ( or she, but that never happened) is studying. I do miss Giuseppe though, even if we do not talk that often, it is still comforting to know he is there... I miss hearing him slam his door coz he is too lazy to let it slide, listening to his low mumbling voice without trying to understand what he's saying coz i never did and i have a strong feeling i never will, so why bother... I miss the music he puts on - he has very good taste in music and not only once did he try to educate that in me, but i am too stubborn and too lazy to put the " Giuseppe" folder in winamp and let it play.
So it is quiet.... It is peaceful.... At least on my side, coz on the other, there is A with her speakers and radio:) I started financial math a few days ago, but information just does not stick to my flying-somewhere-far-away mind. Even if it is written in a very easy-to-read and optimistic manner, even if it is full of funny examples and addresses the reader in personal terms so that reading feels more like a discussion and thus gives the advantage of turning back to the idea that you missed and trying to grasp the hidden meaning ( which i do a lot ) i still find myself lost among the formulas, the notations and all the simple words that not always seem to belong to the same sentence. I smile at stuff like " [...] several times, for instance, students have tried to convince the Authors that it was meaningful to compute the probability of a number, P(3). But they never succeeded..." and " Consider pneumonia cancer ( and touch wood ) ". The teacher is a very good example of both humor and wit, he reminds me of my father, a person who is jolly and strict at the same time, who has high demands on his students but who always has a smile, a joke or a sarcastic remark to make life a little bit easier for the lost in space students. All this makes the experience a little less frustrating, but still, as i go further into the mysteries of the book on probability, i realize that i was completely right to say that it is well beyond my capacity to understand what a distribution function or a density function is..... the teacher kinda lost me one lesson when he said that "computing the randomness of a random number we find it is not so random...... ....." But who knows, maybe today is the day when all the miracles that have gathered along the years will finally start to happen. So i read.